My Angel

My Angel I spend all my time waiting for that second chance For my break that will make it ok I always seem to have some reason to not feel good enough And it's hard every day I really need some distraction oh beautiful release of emotion Memories keep seeping from my veins For I feel quite empty and weightless and maybe sometime I'll find some peace that we all need. I wish I could be in the arms of an Angel so that I could fly away from here with you From this dark, cold place we are in, and the endlessness that I constantly fear I really need to be pulled from the wreckage of my deafening silent reverie With us in the arms of the Angels; we will find our comfort there together I am so tired of the straight line, and everywhere I turn There's vultures and thieves at my back And the storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference, if you keep trying on escaping one last time It's easier to believe In that sweet madness, oh the endless sadness That constantly brings me to my knees In the arms of the Angels we can fly away from here together From this small, cold place we are in, and the endlessness that I fear I really need to be pulled from the wreckage of my deafening silent reverie With us in the arms of the Angels; we will find our comfort there together with us in the arms of the Angels; we will find our comfort there together.

The 2nd Chance

There are times that we know we want and or need a second chance; but there are also those times that we don't know if we need a second chance. How are we to know when we need that second chance to correct the error that we made the first time without being told. Now a lot of people are very up front and will tell you that you have made a mistake and you are being given the second chance, but then there are those people that will not tell you and simply make excuses as to not see you and or not talk to you because you have made that mistake the first time even though you may not known you have made it.
But then there are those times you have made a mistake no matter how big or small it was; but then you have the same type of people that will either allow you to correct it over time or they will shut you out and have nothing more to do with you.
Now the latter; does that make the person shutting you out a bad person or simply doing it so they can not get hurt or to avoid being hurt again by another person?. Or depending on the mistake you have made, does the other person that allows you to rectify your mistake asking to quite possibly get hurt again or are they hoping that the mistake will be fixed and not happen again?.
Now are mistakes made because of lack of communication between the 2 people or is it because of how each of them were raised and the one that made the mistake doesn't see it as a mistake but the other does! And if it is the latter was there truly any way to avoid the mistake being made in the first place. It is quite possible that if each person knew the other better that it could of been avoided or was it destined to happen anyway?.

The women

What is it that gets the opposite genders attention?. How is it that you can be walking down a really busy street not looking at anything in particular. But all of a sudden out of no where you have the desire to either turn your head right or left or completely turn around to have a look at a person being it either a women or a male. Is it in us to subconsciously be on the look out for certain aspects or is it pheromones of this other person that gets our attention that makes us take notice of this other person. With this happening is it then a mutual thing between you and this other person or is it purely a 1 sided sense that made you take that look?. Is there a difference if a women is walking down a busy street wile wearing a full length red dress with long hair, nicely taken care of. Or the same women walking down the street with her hair in a bun and wearing sweat pants and a sports jersey would she get the same reaction from the same person and what if it was a male wearing the suit or tie or the sweat pants and Jersey, would they be looked at the same or different and why?. For myself I base it on the facial description of the person normally starting with the eyes. Paramahansa Yogananda says it best "Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts." for me the eyes are the road to the soul. For your soul is your being, if your true to yourself and others then yours eyes will tell me your story.

The path

So what is real. Is it what we can taste, smell, touch and or feel? Is there honestly anyway for us to know or find out? Or is everything that we do predefined as some say as genetics, Or is it in our genes to be who we are and thus do what we do!. For me I say we are a culmination of what we do and how we do it and who we have in our life to accompany us on our path through this existence we call life. Unfortunately there are those of us out there whether we know it or not that attempt to misdirect us on our path as we travel along so as to enhance their own path of existence that they are living. But there are times that we get lucky enough to have that other person join us on our path and begin a journey together enriching and Complementing each other. But at times this same situation will end when the other person no longer wishes to proceed on the enriching path that they are traveling with this person with. They believe that the path that runs alongside the one they are  currently on is more rewarding than the one they are currently on. But they find out sooner or later in most cases it was simply an illusion that they were seeing and the new path that they have chosen is not what they thought it would be or what they thought they had perceived. Unfortunately this is happening more and more these day's. People are now making choices without thinking them through and selecting a path that was and or is not right for them, and properly selecting the  company in which they wanted to enrich them on there path/journey they have taken in life.

Greed

Greed, is it good or bad. Is it real or fake. Can it truly be reached or is it a mere illusion?. How can greed truly be reached? Can greed be seen or touched and if so can anyone see it or touch it or does it take a special skill to do so!

You have Timothy verse 6:10 that states "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

 Is it true that by obtaining great wealth you have to sacrifice many other items in doing so? Or is there a fine line that can be walked between greed of the monetary and or the material things. If you were to share the wealth amongst others that are in need of what you have does that make what you do and or have still that of greed, or at that point does it become something else other than greed. And at what point does obtaining these items and or wealth become greed. If you were to be trying to better yourself and thus at the same time increase your wealth but know that you are not looking forbade unlimited amount of wealth but that of enough so that you can be comfortable with what you have and still have enough to help others, can you truly say that you are greedy at that point. This so something that can be debated for ages to come with no clear cut answer, for no answer is applicable to everyone in any given situation.

The tears

Why do we have tears. We have tears of happiness and tears of joy as well as tears sadness and or sorrow. How is it that our bodies know what tears are appropriate for what scenario, and how do others know what the tears are that we are dispensing and the reason for them?. Do they know by the look we have in our eyes and or the emotion that we may be displaying on our face at the time they are looking at us!. Why is it that we shed these tears from our bodies during the Times of happiness and or joy or sorrow or sadness. Why is it that we do not simply have a more non-verbal gesture during these times like clapping our hands or simply a frown or a smile instead. Or is it simply that we have not been taught to show these emotions so we simply shed these little drops of water from our ever gazing eyes. Also why is it that in Times of deep pain/sorrow like in a death or in Times of great happiness such as a birth of a new baby for new parents they both almost at the same time start to cry; cry the tears of happiness or sadness at the same time?. Is it simply the emotional sharing between the people or is it something more like a chemical reaction that is being shared between them that makes them cry!. Is this something that can be answered or simply another mystery for the ages that may never be answered?.

Tunnel vision

Before I met you all I did was work. I knew nothing else but what I had done my whole life, which was work. You could say that all I knew was work and had a bad case of tunnel vision. But then we met and that all changed, but alas it was for a brief time. We then added to our family for the first time. By this time my tunnel vision had virtually disappeared. But then something happened and I reverted back to having tunnel vision again for work. But luckily it did not last long for we added to the family again, during these 2 periods of time life was a bliss. But I fell short in not explaining and or properly showing my try emotions and or feelings in the way that was deserved by you and I fell back in to my tunnel vision again with work and thus a rift formed and continued to widen as the time went on. The rift came so large that it seems that no matter the size of bridge that could be built again there was always something that prevented it from being finished again. Alas now I sit here alone at the end of the partial bridge that I have constructed looking out to the other half wondering who it is that can help me Finnish this bridge that I have partially built.

Feelings, oh the feelings.

Do I love her? Yes I do. does she know I love her, that I do not know. Do I wish she knew that I love her? Yes. Have I loved her from the start? Yes I have. Have I tried to hurt her! It is unbearable but yes I have. Has she done stuff to hurt me! Yes she has. Does she know she has done these things? That I do not know; for I never told her. For that it is upon me to bear for knowing to tell her she has done those things that have hurt me may lead to more hurt in the end for her And or I. I wish I knew how to express myself so freely as she is able to do, alas I do not know her to do so as she does so care freely without thinking twice about it. Does she know that what she has so And does so freely it appears to be taken for granted by me due to my untrained heart! I so wish the best for her but so wish that it was I that was apart of her life in the way that we were. But alas unless she can learn to understand me the way that I am and know even though I may not use my words so freely that within my heart she is my queen And I wish to be her king for all eternity upon this game of chess that is life that we live.

Tunnel Vision

Before I met you all I did was work. I knew nothing else but what I had done my whole life, which was work. You could say that all I knew was work and had a bad case of tunnel vision. But then we met and that all changed, but alas it was for a breaf time. We then added to our family for the first time. By this time my tunnel vision had virtually disappeared. But then something happened and I reverted back to having tunnel vision again for work. But luckily it did not last long for we added to the family again, during these 2 periods of time life was a bliss. But I fell short in not explaining and or properly showing my try emotions and or feelings in the way that was deserved by you and I fell back in to my tunnel vision again with work and thus a rift formed and continued to widen as the time went on. The rift came so large that it seems that no matter the size of bridge that could be built again there was always something that prevented it from being finished again. Alas now I sit here alone at the end of the partial bridge that I have constructed looking out to the other half wondering who it is that can help me Finnish this bridge that I have partially built.

Feeling, oh the feelings.

Do I love her? Yes I do. does she know I love her, that I do not know. Do I wish she knew that I love her? Yes. Have I loved her from the start? Yes I have. Have I tried to hurt her! It is unbearable but yes I have. Has she done stuff to hurt me! Yes she has. Does she know she has done these things? That I do not know; for I never told her. For that it is upon me to bear for knowing to tell her she has done those things that have hurt me may lead to more hurt in the end for her And or I. I wish I knew how to express myself so freely as she is able to do, alas I do not know her to do so as she does so care freely without thinking twice about it. Does she know that what she has so And does so freely it appears to be taken for granted by me due to my untrained heart! I so wish the best for her but so wish that it was I that was apart of her life in the way that we were. But alas unless she can learn to understand me the way that I am and know even though I may not use my words so freely that within my heart she is my queen And I wish to be her king for all eternity upon this game of chess that is life that we live.